Saturday, August 19, 2006

The Wedding Hound

I went outside after lunch to dump the compost, and heard the strains of a bagpipe coming faintly from the Catholic church across the street. Having lived here for nine years, I know this can mean only one thing: a wedding is about to emerge through the doors of this venerable and lovely shrine.

Now, I'm a minister, right? I've seen a zillion weddings from the inside. You'd think I'd be tired of them by now. But no, I can't resist standing there in my shorts and tank top, empty compost bucket in my hand, tearing up at the happiness evidenced across the street. All it takes is one look at an emotional mother-of-the-bride embracing her new son-in-law, and I'm a goner. (This is no doubt influenced by how I'm crazy about my own son-in-law, and how happy I was at my daughter's wedding.)

Wait, I've gotta go have another look...

There's a table on the lawn where refreshments are being served, and the bridesmaids are going around among the guests handing out wands (well, wooden dowels, actually) with bright ribbons hanging from one end, and ribbons tied in a circle with silver bells attached to them, and tiny wind chimes. Guess there is going to be some kind of sendoff!

The bride is wearing the usual... (lovely slinky cream-colored wedding dress, floor-length lace train). The groom is wearing a kilt and knee socks (nice!) and a cropped black jacket with silver buttons on the sleeves. But best of all are the bridesmaids. They are wearing brown knit scoop-neck cap-sleeved tops and beige skirts. I am sure the tops are silk knit and the skirts are probably linen... Finally, a bridesmaids dress/outfit that you can ACTUALLY WEAR AGAIN! And they aren't wearing matching shoes, either. The mother of the bride is wearing a long, full-ish brown skirt and overhanging top (she's a bit on the full-figured side), made from the same fabric as the bridesmaids' tops. What a nicely put-together bridal party!

Instead of bouquets, the bridesmaids each carry one humongous white hydrangea blossom with its stem wrapped in white silk ribbon (except for one bridesmaid who is carrying a baby instead; he is wearing shorts and a shirt made from the same brown fabric).

Everyone cheers as the bride and groom emerge (again!) from the church; this time she is carrying a bright red bouquet (which, frankly, I think clashes with the rest of the color scheme).

This is what ministers do on a Saturday afternoon instead of writing their sermons... They pass judgement on other people's weddings. This one gets an "A"!


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